I am freaking out.

I've done what might be a questionable move and secretly adopted a cat, which will no doubt horrify my mother once she's found out (and she will find out; I plan on telling her in a day or so). Not only have I adopted a cat, I adopted a cat that has FIV, which is like HIV but for cats. Before you start having grotesque images of cats doing the dirty with each other and passing on this virus, it doesn't work like that (although it probably could); most cats are infected when they get into fights with another FIV positive cat and there is a deep bite wound or scratch involved.

Anyways, I'm not even freaking out about that. I saw Tybalt (or Tibbs for short) on Petfinder and was immediately drawn to his cute little face. I was even more smitten when I watched the videos of him posted and saw how he head-butted peoples hands for attention. The fact that he had a terminal illness was of some concern, but since I don't live with another cat (although my boyfriend has one, there's no chance of passing on the virus just from contact) my main concern was the possible vet bill accumulation. But because he had FIV, the shelter that had him has an adoption agreement that's more like a "permanent foster home" agreement: it means that technically, he is still the property of the shelter, if at any time I can't care for him he must go back there, but all vet checks will be covered by them if I can take them to their vets in Maple Ridge (and with the new Golden Ears Bridge, the drive is actually pretty quick). With that, Tybalt was now in my care.

I had designated one of my rooms for Tybalt before I brought him home. Since then, he has adjusted very well and very quickly, having no problems eating the food I brought him and using the new cat litter I bought (even though I personally don't like the smell :( I might change again once I'm done with this bag). He was very affectionate and didn't hesitate to headbutt my hands for attention.

Here's the freaking out part. I feel like a new mother who is not sure she can take her of her baby and fulfill all its needs...and it's seriously causing me a lot of stress! For one thing, because my first cat love was my boyfriend's cat (who I am officially "godmother" to...don't ask) I feel worried that I won't love my new cat as much. Also, he is quite vocal at times; I looked up a few things on the internet and it's most likely attributed to settling in to new surroundings, because he wasn't vocal at all at the shelter, but when he does meow it drives me crazy! It's not even insistent, constant meowing, but when he does make noise it can be kind of loud! And lastly, perhaps the thing I feel most guilty about, is that although I liked that he was very affectionate and enjoys pats, he enjoys them so much, I feel that he's a little needy. I'm sure, as an abandoned cat, he's starved for affection, which makes it all even more horrible, but I feel like there's only so many times I can scratch his ears at once!

I'm so afraid that I won't be able to handle it and I'll end up bringing him back to the shelter, which will be very upsetting for me and, even more so, Tibbs. I also worry about him when I'm not home; I work full time and also attend a night class twice a week. With him being a little needy, I wonder if I'm the right home for him?